Insurmountable

Its grey

The color of my skin has changed
My body feels old
I am moving slowly
Yet vibrating restlessness is moving inside


Its grey
A shadow covers what I see
You look different too
I need to look away,
yet desperate to grab hold of your heart


Its grey
Imagining the future
Helplessness makes me heavy
This body is not my own
A stranger has settled down,
and I am about to drown


Its turning black
I judge before I feel
My face is frozen
The stranger has won,
control is gone


Its black
an overwhelming disgust
the darkest hate
to disappear is all I want to do
I guess the stranger becomes a friend,
and I am wearing the mask of a victim again