The gap

Forcing,
searching
reaching within

Escaping,
alleviating,
running away

Searching for something better
Running from something worse

Deasperatly,
craving to be,
someone else

Frenetically,
distracting,
avoiding myself

Searching for something better
Running from something worse

Carefully,
manipulating,
staging my presence

Worrying,
afraid to let go,
yet longing to be

Searching for something better
Running from something worse

I am somewhere in between

I discovered a strenght,
seemingly absent.
The lack of it,
convincingly colored my mind.

I have grabbed hold,
desperatly clung.
Suddenly,
I met,
the strenght of letting go.

:)

When I change and actually dare to show
how will I then change while on your reaction?
I think, maybe I´m afraid of all I am
and afraid I smile :)