A love left alone

I stand alone,
beside you.

Leaning on my own feet,
while resting in our trust.

I let you,
walk alone.

Your own path,
yet you know you have a home.

Your journey,
as mine.

We have an unconditional love,
a love left alone.

Let it be

Enjoy beauty from a distance
Watch it grow,
let it fall.

Breathe,
do not sufficate by control.

Watch tears and anger boil,
standing firmly beside.
Let it unfold.

Breathe,
and let it go.

Relax into your lovers love,
standing on your feet.
Let it travel on it's own.

Breathe,
you will find your home.

Here I go again

How come I feel lost when I´m free
The same regrets are coming back and
I´m so afraid of what might come out of this
what is really me and is there such thing as me
there is no answer and I stopped asking myself
but my inside keep showing up uninvited.

Iron fist

I have an iron fist.
Grasping and holding on,
covering and drowning.

There is no place to be.

The gap

Forcing,
searching
reaching within

Escaping,
alleviating,
running away

Searching for something better
Running from something worse

Deasperatly,
craving to be,
someone else

Frenetically,
distracting,
avoiding myself

Searching for something better
Running from something worse

Carefully,
manipulating,
staging my presence

Worrying,
afraid to let go,
yet longing to be

Searching for something better
Running from something worse

I am somewhere in between

I discovered a strenght,
seemingly absent.
The lack of it,
convincingly colored my mind.

I have grabbed hold,
desperatly clung.
Suddenly,
I met,
the strenght of letting go.

:)

When I change and actually dare to show
how will I then change while on your reaction?
I think, maybe I´m afraid of all I am
and afraid I smile :)

Release

"I'm gonna show you",I said.
"I can be released", I shouted!
Echos hitting the narrow walls of my mind.

"Look at me", I whispered.
"See me!", I begged.
Bathig in the red sea of my ego.

"Make me feel something!", I thought.
"Even if it hurts", I laughed.
Merging into the role of a victim.

"This is me", I told myself loudly.
"You are never going to change!", I repeated in my mind.
Hiding in my illusions of transformation.

"Who are you?", I asked.
"Who are you hiding?", my voice changed.
It's time to let it go,
it's time to be released.

London calling?

Full speed
Don't worry about looking behind you
No need to take a step back
Keep going
No need to fear the Unknown
Don't worry about predictions
Do it
Ride with the dynamic movements of life
This is it

Miss feeling sure
I like knowing what I want
I´m not sure of any of that
and that makes me sad
but gives me comfort when
once again I have to give up my unhappiness

What is love?

I don´t know what love is
I don´t need to know
just feel it.

Naked

Pale skin,
cold veins of blood.
Grey flesh,
unfamiliar and strange.
Looks old,
yet so young.

Frozen face,
hateful black eyes.
Overwhelming discomfort,
immediatly turn my head.
Hard to breath,
thick air of shame.

Naked

I have created the space,
touched the openness slightly.
I have befriended my story,
gently letting go.
I have thrown myself into the Unknown,
without drowning.
I have faced a couple of shadows,
slowly one by one.

Suddenly I notice myself in the mirror,
at the starting line again.
Looking at this skin and bones,
like a stranger.
Staring into my eyes,
dark hate and anger.
There is a gap,
a birdge left to cross.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
-Written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta

to wake

she awoke

to find

a storm

quietly

she sits

Honest

Visited a place,
 tremendous amount of space

No wall,
as far as the eye could see.
The safest place to be.

Far away.
Still right here.
How did I get there?

No decision,
or control.

Whole.

Waiting for the petals
Blown by spring winds
To brush gently
Past my face
Blushing pink

The reflection of the Sun
In the moon
Light
Falls on my windowsill

Dampness

Telling of the old house
Of misused energy in search for truth
Can you smell the rotting of wood?


Touched
I fear the roof will cave
Walls delicate of over-grown skin


I haven't yet begun but I've already swept miles
How can it be that I've missed these piles of stones?
Heavy


Once believing in complete trust
Once more grieving for a round smooth pebble
Wishing to find it and finish this smile

Ahead of myself

Projecting my mind

thoughts abound

racing pulse

my body behind

Pinhole iris

focus ahead

nothing left

but fleshy abyss

Momentary fantasy

take me away

now I'm back

and find it's day

I stay

for a while

until I'm taken

by another ride

Distrust

Looking at you,
watching me.
Afraid of what you might see.

Watching you,
looking at me.
Is there any truth to what I see?

Molding the surface,
as pleasant as can be.
Fear of you rejecting me.

Hiding in my mind,
driven by mistrust.
No trust in you,
nor me...



.

Take me away

Take me away.
Turning my head,
avoiding eyes.
Let me disappear,
in my own disguise.

Take me away.
To the extreeme,
the state of a dream.
Let me hide,
in my illusions of the mind.

In between

Keep asking questions
Keep wanting answers
Why do I ask?
Why do I answer?

Keep looking ahead
Turning around,
as I search for answers
Where am I heading?
Where do I come from?

Keep shifitng
The one or the other
The past,
or the present
What about now?

Now,
no need for answers,
nor questions.

Drop for space

Inside is anger of what is right,

wont give in but I would like to let go.

Just like that.

Questions

What do I want?
Reaching for the sky to elevate me,
searching for the ground to hold me back.

What is wanting?
Trying not to chose the one or the other,
yet striving to make a decision.

What is knowing?
Looking for answers to understand,
yet wishing to let go of the mind.

While having a coffee with a typical snack from the island...

I feel dark blue

I don't know what to do

I don't know what to feel

He's staring at me

He's waiting for an answer

No words, only tears and silence and an inner voice..

run away, don't feel the pain

What to do, what to say

It's dark

It needs healing

let it come

let it out

Maybe words, maybe silence and an inner voice...

Only here and now

Gone

I carry a sorrow.
Im sorry that you will never see,
all that is me.
Im sorry that we will never be,
more than a faded memory.

Clouded

Its clouded,
grey.
All I can see is mountaintops.

No solid foundation,
its hidden in the fog.

Standing on the ground,
afraid of climbing.

There is no sight,
unable to trust the Unknown.

Still on the ground,
easier to hide in the Shadows.